I am not sure if traumatized is the correct word to use but unfortunately it’s the only one that pops into my head lately when I think about what it was like to have my first child. I know you have probably read at least a hundred different birth stories where the mom has this horrific delivery and she can barely recover. That’s not quite what I mean. You see my pregnancy was great. No issues and I worked up until 2 weeks before I delivered. I had a scheduled c-section because scans had shown that I had a huge baby in there that wasn’t coming out any other way. Although I was scared to have a c-section, I had no idea that everything after it would be so much scarier.
I feel like the last six years have been like the longest boxing match in history. It seemed like every time we would take a big hit and take a deep breath another big hit would come. We have been taking deep breaths so long I am not sure I have really processed everything that has happened and even how far we have come. I guess it was survival or denial but now that life is finally leveling and the knock downs are happening farther apart, I am finding myself thinking back a fighting back the tears. I don’t have regrets about having my child. I love him more than life itself and he amazes me everyday. I just don’t think I processed everything that happened. I hoping to as I start from the beginning and write about everything that brought us to where we are today. So the good, the bad, and everything in between if you care to continue. This blog will be an account of life when you have to revise your idea of parenting and what it means to be a mom or dad.